I've been away for a while. I know. I meant to post earlier this week, but have been keeping busy.... or.... escaping, anyways.
I have spent most of my free time over the last week playing Diablo with Kevin and Liz. Good that I'm making good friends, bad that it is 'just' playing Diablo. Saturday we played for 21 straight hours.
I enjoy playing. While I'm playing, I don't have to think about anything except the game - no worries about the job situation, no worries about girls, just playing and hoping to find better items. And Kevin and Liz are fun to hang out with.
Sunday I had a breakdown. I started job searching, had extremely poor luck, and then went home and cried. Partly because I was frustrated with my jobsearch, partly because I miss having someone. I miss Jen less and less each day, but at the same time, wish she would call.... so that I know she misses me too. Our last conversation I was pretty snippy with her. I wonder if she will ever call again. I have promised myself not to call her.
As far as the dating scene goes.... there is none. I'm not making an effort. I want to give up on finding someone. I feel like I have already met the best people in the world - my current friends - and all the females in that group are taken, and, well, I'm not going to date a guy - cuz thats just not my thing. But I look at girls while driving, or while jogging through the diag - and I don't want to know any of them. Are some of them pretty? Sure. But... I dunno - its like I see them and assume I know what they are like- by the way they walk, what they wear, how they talk to their friends, or how they look at me. I feel like everyone I see is so self-involved and like a socialite- or is too hippy and anti-normal just to be that way. I feel like there is no one out there that meets my standards - that will be the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. Jen seemed to be the closest thing to it - except for the whole lack-of-wanting-to-have-sex-thing. I mean - sure, she had her faults - she took forever to get ready when we needed to go somewhere, she interrupted me when I would tell her a story... but I can live with those kinds of faults. I can't live with people that are into how they look to others more than anything else, and I can't stand people that are so anti-norm that you can't do anything that is considered popular (like listening to Britney Spears) without them lecturing you about how that kind of stuff has no culture and is being crammed down our throats blah blah blah.
In summary: where the fuck is my soulmate? I've given up looking for now.
Instead of job searching, I've been giving thought to attending ITT tech to learn some more tech stuff. Maybe networking or sys admin stuff. I dunno. But I do know that I'm hardly qualified to do anything right now.
I gotta go. Kevin, Liz and I are gonna play Diablo.
I don't know if this post can be considered positive or not. I'm not sad... or happy. Peas.
I have spent most of my free time over the last week playing Diablo with Kevin and Liz. Good that I'm making good friends, bad that it is 'just' playing Diablo. Saturday we played for 21 straight hours.
I enjoy playing. While I'm playing, I don't have to think about anything except the game - no worries about the job situation, no worries about girls, just playing and hoping to find better items. And Kevin and Liz are fun to hang out with.
Sunday I had a breakdown. I started job searching, had extremely poor luck, and then went home and cried. Partly because I was frustrated with my jobsearch, partly because I miss having someone. I miss Jen less and less each day, but at the same time, wish she would call.... so that I know she misses me too. Our last conversation I was pretty snippy with her. I wonder if she will ever call again. I have promised myself not to call her.
As far as the dating scene goes.... there is none. I'm not making an effort. I want to give up on finding someone. I feel like I have already met the best people in the world - my current friends - and all the females in that group are taken, and, well, I'm not going to date a guy - cuz thats just not my thing. But I look at girls while driving, or while jogging through the diag - and I don't want to know any of them. Are some of them pretty? Sure. But... I dunno - its like I see them and assume I know what they are like- by the way they walk, what they wear, how they talk to their friends, or how they look at me. I feel like everyone I see is so self-involved and like a socialite- or is too hippy and anti-normal just to be that way. I feel like there is no one out there that meets my standards - that will be the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. Jen seemed to be the closest thing to it - except for the whole lack-of-wanting-to-have-sex-thing. I mean - sure, she had her faults - she took forever to get ready when we needed to go somewhere, she interrupted me when I would tell her a story... but I can live with those kinds of faults. I can't live with people that are into how they look to others more than anything else, and I can't stand people that are so anti-norm that you can't do anything that is considered popular (like listening to Britney Spears) without them lecturing you about how that kind of stuff has no culture and is being crammed down our throats blah blah blah.
In summary: where the fuck is my soulmate? I've given up looking for now.
Instead of job searching, I've been giving thought to attending ITT tech to learn some more tech stuff. Maybe networking or sys admin stuff. I dunno. But I do know that I'm hardly qualified to do anything right now.
I gotta go. Kevin, Liz and I are gonna play Diablo.
I don't know if this post can be considered positive or not. I'm not sad... or happy. Peas.
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