I hate old people.

If I ever get old.... shoot me.

I was in Florida this past weekend, after buying myself a $400 plane ticket because my grandparents have been begging me for the last 10 years to come visit them. I figured- they're getting old, they're lonely because their friends keep dying... I'll do the "right" thing and visit them. Mind you, I had to take off 2 days of work, since I don't have sick days. And, because my flight left at 7am Thursday and got back at 11:30pm Sunday, I wasn't about to ask anyone to drive me... so I parked my car at the airport for 4 days. Add in the failed attempt to visit my grandparents last year (I bought a non-refundable $300 ticket for a weekend they said would be good, only to have them tell me the next day that the weekend was no longer good)... and you can see that doing the "right" thing has been very, very wrong to my wallet.

So I get in to Florida, and say hi to the grandparents - by the way, I don't have a strong relationship with my grandparents. I've seen them twice in the last 15 years because of family politics and them saying a few years back: "after Bami (my grandma's mom) dies, we won't have a reason to come visit Michigan anymore". Ummmm... no reason? 2 children and 4 grandkids isn't reason to come visit????? Its not like they don't have the money to come visit- they live in a gated community in a condo on a golf course, and their community recently built a $5,000,000 clubhouse.

Where was I.. oh yes- we said hi, blah blah blah... then we get in their car - a new lincoln towncar the size of a bus. And then my grandpa starts driving..... with 2 feet. And holy shit does he ever tailgate! He leaves less distance between him and the car in front of him, than I do when I parallel park! Every time we got in the car, I thought I was going to die!!!

Anyways, chit chat, chit chat, blah blah blah.. I remain pretty bored the entire time. They're in their 80's, so they tire out pretty easily. We drove out to see the beach on Friday, and they were tired after about 2 hours of being away from home. We walked along the beach for about 30 minutes, and spent another hour walking around shops (I got to see a consignment store!!!). We stopped in a Tommy Bahama store, where my grandma insisted that I let her buy me something, and I insisted that Tommy Bahama really isn't my style. She was disappointed. I would have rather had the cash.

Then after going back home to grab lunch, my grandpa felt a little light headed, and they decided that he needed to rest the rest of the day. Great. Stuck in a condo. Thats super. Had I bought a golf glove the day before, I would have been able to go down to the clubhouse (alone) to hit a few balls, but I didn't, and so the previous day I had worn 3 nice blisters into my fingers, and I wasn't feeling up to that.

Saturday we went to dinner theater. (Oh boy!) I was the youngest person in the audience by about 35 years, the buffet was pretty gross - I've had better food at a ponderosa.... and during intermission of "La Cage aux Folles" (The birdcage), I learned that my Grandma doesn't believe that gay people are really gay. They're just confused. What can you expect from an 80 year old that goes to church EVERY MORNING at 7am, and watches FOX NEWS nonstop????

Oh, and by Saturday they were driving me crazy asking me when I was coming back to visit them. DEAR GOD! I hadn't even left yet!!! Most conversations were spent with them telling me how lonely they are, and how their friends are all dying, and how they don't like their new clubhouse, and how they want me to visit them more.

So I know I'm loved and all, but honestly, that experience makes me want to never go back.

Oh, and then there was a fun pile of work waiting for me when I got back. I'm just about to leave the office, after working a 13 hour day....