I've been tagged! Son of a (&*$^#%(R*$&%!!!
Wife was tagged and tasked with sharing 5 things that people might not know about her. She then tagged me. And I'm not against sharing, but I think that this is particularly difficult for me, as I'm a pretty honest and straightforward person.
1) I'm not nearly as confident as my "ego" suggests. People often believe that I think very highly of myself, and that I think I'm close to perfect, but to the contrary, I am actually quite self-conscious. I look at the accomplishments, possessions, and skills of others, and compare them to my own. I often feel the need to be perfect, and end up feeling inadequate, as I compare myself against so many other people. I'm not a naturally confident person, but I do have the ability to project the confidence that I feel I need to show.
2) I was very shy until college. I mean VERY shy. Its harder to see now, but I was so shy that being in large groups made me very uncomfortable- my heart would race, and I would begin to sweat. I would blush at the drop of a hat. Part of this goes along with #1. To get over this, I forced myself to take baby steps to talk to more people, and to be involved in more and more group activities.
3) I was depressed in high school. I mean seeing a psychologist, phyciatrist, and taking anti-depressants depressed. Part of this goes along with #1 and #2. Senior year in high school sucked. I was diagnosed with Chron's disease, my dad with cancer, I didn't have any classes with my best (only) friend, and because of conflicting after-school activities, my friend and I didn't get to see each other after school or Saturdays until April. My outlet for stress relief was wrestling, but because of the Chron's, and then a case of ringworm that became infected, I missed the majority of the season. So things kind of got to me. A lot.
4) For being so open and graphic about sex/porn, my practices would probably be somewhat surprising to people. In fact, up until just before I met Jessica, my sex life was boring. Before Jess, I was with someone who was very open and forward, and definitely opened my eyes and made me more comfortable with my body and hers.... but nonetheless, given the talk, you'd think I was doing all sorts of kinky and crazy things.... but no.
5) I often fantasize about being a star football player. But not just the star- like, an insanely perfect player - plays both sides of the ball, no one can tackle me, hold every record..... its pretty much the last thing I think about before going to bed each night, and often what I think about when showering. Its kind of nice for getting me to bed easily. Its one of several scenes I play through my head to put me into a hypnotic state which gets me to sleep VERY quickly. I have a book on hypnosis (for dummies) that talks about how playing a scene in your head, making it very vivid can help put you in a trance..... and it works. Funny though, I've been doing it since I was in elementary school.
I tap no one.
Wife was tagged and tasked with sharing 5 things that people might not know about her. She then tagged me. And I'm not against sharing, but I think that this is particularly difficult for me, as I'm a pretty honest and straightforward person.
1) I'm not nearly as confident as my "ego" suggests. People often believe that I think very highly of myself, and that I think I'm close to perfect, but to the contrary, I am actually quite self-conscious. I look at the accomplishments, possessions, and skills of others, and compare them to my own. I often feel the need to be perfect, and end up feeling inadequate, as I compare myself against so many other people. I'm not a naturally confident person, but I do have the ability to project the confidence that I feel I need to show.
2) I was very shy until college. I mean VERY shy. Its harder to see now, but I was so shy that being in large groups made me very uncomfortable- my heart would race, and I would begin to sweat. I would blush at the drop of a hat. Part of this goes along with #1. To get over this, I forced myself to take baby steps to talk to more people, and to be involved in more and more group activities.
3) I was depressed in high school. I mean seeing a psychologist, phyciatrist, and taking anti-depressants depressed. Part of this goes along with #1 and #2. Senior year in high school sucked. I was diagnosed with Chron's disease, my dad with cancer, I didn't have any classes with my best (only) friend, and because of conflicting after-school activities, my friend and I didn't get to see each other after school or Saturdays until April. My outlet for stress relief was wrestling, but because of the Chron's, and then a case of ringworm that became infected, I missed the majority of the season. So things kind of got to me. A lot.
4) For being so open and graphic about sex/porn, my practices would probably be somewhat surprising to people. In fact, up until just before I met Jessica, my sex life was boring. Before Jess, I was with someone who was very open and forward, and definitely opened my eyes and made me more comfortable with my body and hers.... but nonetheless, given the talk, you'd think I was doing all sorts of kinky and crazy things.... but no.
5) I often fantasize about being a star football player. But not just the star- like, an insanely perfect player - plays both sides of the ball, no one can tackle me, hold every record..... its pretty much the last thing I think about before going to bed each night, and often what I think about when showering. Its kind of nice for getting me to bed easily. Its one of several scenes I play through my head to put me into a hypnotic state which gets me to sleep VERY quickly. I have a book on hypnosis (for dummies) that talks about how playing a scene in your head, making it very vivid can help put you in a trance..... and it works. Funny though, I've been doing it since I was in elementary school.
I tap no one.
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